Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
