I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
