Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
