just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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