When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
