420 ftw
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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