I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
