You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
