the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
