we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
