Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
