i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Fuck appropriateness.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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