Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
