I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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