took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
