Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
