Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
