Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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