best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
