how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm passing your future prison.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
