Me too!
After last night, I could never be a politician.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
