Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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