Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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