Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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