Having a random hookup so left but love u
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
