ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
