I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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