My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
