yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
