dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
