Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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