are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
