god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
