sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
