did you get engaged???
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Randomize
