i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
