Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
