Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
