Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
