Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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