Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
