apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
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