Need sex. Gaining weight.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
