i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
