so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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