i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
