I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
