No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
