I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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