After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
